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I just returned from 4 days in Istanbul. I am a guy who goes out a lot, travel much, and have been to the dankest bling bling parties, and the most dive bars you could come up with.
The women in Istanbul are beautiful, but there is something about making eye contact in the culture I think. Also, there are really not many tourists this time of year Mostly Germans now I think so hearing someone speak English in the street, and then seeing if they want to go out to a bar is out of the question. Obviously they are idiots. There are no tourists now.
Maybe Bodrum in the summer is a much better call. It's a pity that you did not enjoy Istanbul bars. I guess you couldn't find your place. Do not give up on Istanbul nights, i am sure you will find your place and have the time of your life one day.
They came from Ankara but often had been at Istanbul relatives. And they told us that in Istanbul many modern young girls seem to be unapproachable and vain. Perhaps it is a must to be "in". Perhaps the girls in Istanbul saw you all to clearly with their eyes and chose not to make eye contact or to be "gamed on" by you. I really don't know what to say about your post. Yes, the women of Istanbul are very beautifuly. Inside and out, they are also very smart.
Thanks for warning about the high drink scams, always need to repeat that advice on the forum. Perhaps summer in Bodrum would be a better choice but New York City will definitely meet all of your requirements.